


8urnout

by doomedtimelines



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Minor Ableism, Misgendering, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Hatred, Trans Female Vriska Serket, gifted kid burnout syndrome, neurodivergent vriska, wow vriska had such a happy childhood /s
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomedtimelines/pseuds/doomedtimelines
Summary: The Alternian education system is unforgiving. Your mother moreso.
Relationships: Vriska Serket & Vriska's Lusus
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Hive 8n't A Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21008963) by [power464646](https://archiveofourown.org/users/power464646/pseuds/power464646). 



> me projecting on vriska: the fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i coded this right, you should be able to scroll over spidermom's text and see what she says normally.
> 
> anyway, a short chapter. the next one is already finished and it's longer.

Your name is VRISKA SERKET. You are THREE SWEEPS OLD, and you have just gotten your first grade back from the schoolfeeds! You have gotten a PERFECT SCORE. You are so excited to show your mother. Maybe she’ll actually be proud of you!

You bound down the stairs, fast as your stubby legs can carry you.

VRISKA: Hi, Mom.

She looks at you from her pit, clicks her mandibles expectantly. Right. You grimace and decaptchalogue the body. To your horror, it falls next to you. You laugh, a liiiiiiiittle nervous, and pick it up by the shoulders. You huff, skinny arms straining. She—it.

It is a lot bigger than you.

You push _it_ into your mother’s jaws, and OH FRICK you teeter on the edge and scramble back at the last second, pusher pounding. Close one! Good thing you didn’t have to suffer the humiliation falling flat on your face in front of your mother! You wouldn’t want to climb out of there.

(You wouldn’t want to be so close to your mother as she’s chewing.)

You look down, scuffing the toe of your brand-new sneakers on the floor as you wait for the ripping squelching sounds to stop. There’s a spot of yellow on the instep. Dang.

Wh8t? N8t r8nn8ng 8w8y l8k8 8 p8th8t8c wh8mp? H8ve y88 f8n8ll8 gr8wn th8 gl8b8s t8 f8c8 m8?

You look up and smile.

VRISKA: I got my grades 8ack.

8h?

Her head tilts in interest, yellow still dripping from her jaws. You wring your hands in front of you.

St8nd pr8p8rl8. 8 w8n’t h8v8 y88r p8st8r8 b8 l8k8 s8m8 k8nd 8f fr88k’s.

Right! Don’t be a freak! You put your hands at your side.

VRISKA: R8ght. Sorry.  
VRISKA: I got a hundred percent. ::::)  


Drumming your fingers on your thigh, you wait for her reaction.

A long white leg extends out of the pit and toward you and you forget how to breathe.

It settles between your horns and ruffles your hair.

G88d j8b.

Your pusher flutters.

VRISKA: Th8nks!

The leg retreats into the pit.

8 w8s g88ng t8 m8nt88n th8 st8t8 8f y88r h88r.  
H8w8v8r.  
S8nc8 y88 h8v8 pr8v8n y88rs8lf t8 b8 8n 8nt8ll8g8nt y88ng tr8ll, 8nd y88 st8y8d thr88gh m8 m88l, 8 w8ll n8t.  


Your...hair? You tug at your hair, falling just past your ears. What about your hair?

VRISKA: Um, th8nks!!!!!!!!

You laugh and back away from the pit, a weird feeling in your chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, mind the tags for this chapter.

H8w 8r8 y88r gr8d8s?

You blink, eight times in rapid succession. Most of the time, your mother only asks about her next meal. You blink eight more times, trying to formulate a response.

H8rr8 8p 8nd 8nsw8r m8.

VRISKA: I got an 88 on my l8st test.

There is a long, dangerous pause. Spidermom snaps a bone in her jaws, clean in two. The sound echoes through the cavern. You flinch.

Th8t's n8t 8 8n8 h8ndr8d.  
D8d y88 m8ss q88st88ns 8n p8rp8s8?

You swallow, panic setting in. You know that tone. It's the same one she uses when you come home empty handed.

Or used to. Now she--

You don't want to think about that.

VRISKA: I d8n’t  
VRISKA: I d8n’t  
VRISKA: I d8n’t  
VRISKA: I d8n’t  
VRISKA: I d8n’t  
VRISKA: I d8n’t  
VRISKA: I d8n’t  
VRISKA: I d8n’t

Th8r8 8s 8g88n. Y88r l8ttl8…  
‘88ght’ f8t8sh.

You swallow again. Breathe out. Force your voice not to shake.

VRISKA: It w8sn’t on p8rpose, M8m.

R88ll8?

VRISKA: Re8lly. I promise.

There is a terse pause.

8 d8n’t b8l88v8 y88.

Your pusher drops.

VRISKA: Wh8t????????

8h, pl88s8. Y88 th8nk 8 h8v8n’t n8t8c8d? Y88’v8 j8st g8tt8n w8rs8 8v8r s8nc8 y88 f88nd th8t j88rn8l.

Fuck. You thought you’d hidden that. Apparently not well enough.

Y88r 88ght obs8ss88n h8s 8nl8 gr8wn. Y88 d8n’t l88k 8t m8 8n th8 8y8 8nym8r8. Y88'v8 b88n th8nk8ng 8b88t pl8y8ng th8t g8m8 f8r g8rls, 8nd n8t sp8nd8ng 8ny t8m8 8t y88r 8wn h8ve. Y88'r8 pr8t8nd8ng t8 b8 8 g8rl m8r8 8nd m8r8 8ft8n. 򪪪򪪪򪪪򪪪򪪪򪪪, y88'r8 n8t a ch8ld 8nym8re. Fr8nkl8, 8t's d8st8rb8ng th8t y88'r8 st8ll 8nt8rt88n8ng th8s8 f8nt8s88s. 8 d8n't w8nt y88 t8 gr8w 8p d8l8d8ng y88rs8lf, th8nk8ng y88'r8 s8m8th8ng y88'r8 n8t.  
8nd n8w 8t's 8ff8ct8ng y88r gr8d8s?  
Y88’r8 b8tt8r th8n th8s.  
Wh8t h8pp8n8d t8 th8t str88ght 8 st8d8nt?

You fix your eyes on the ground.

VRISKA: M8ybe i--

L88k 8t m8 wh8n 8’m sp88k8ng t8 you.

You force yourself to meet her gaze. All thoughts drain out of you as you make contact with those disapproving, prying eyes.

W8ll?

She expects you to say something. To defend yourself. But all that comes to your lips is:

VRISKA: I d8n’t kn8w.

Y88 d8n’t kn8w wh8t?

You grasp for any coherent thread of logic in your pan. Tears sting your eyes; you blink them back. Empress knows what she’d do if her--kid started crying in front of her. What can you say that won't make this situation even more of a train wreck?

VRISKA: 8-- 8 d8n’t kn8w.

Y88 d8n’t kn8w...wh8t y88 d8n’t kn8w.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Your mind whirls. That’s what you said, right? You shrug, and hope she takes that for answer.

8 d8dn’t r88s8 8 B st8d8nt. 8 w8ll 8nl8 8cc8pt th8 b8st fr8m y88. D8 y88 8nd8rst8nd?  
8r d8 y88...n8t kn8w?

You nod.

8s8 y88r w8rds.

VRISKA: I  
VRISKA: I underst8nd.

8f y88 w8r8 s8m8 sh8tbl88d w8th88t h8lf 8 br88n 8nd 8 l8s8s wh8 d8dn’t c8r8 ab88t y88r f8t8r8, th8t w88ld b8 d8ff8r8nt. B8t 8 8m 8 c8r8ng m8th8r. 8nd c8r8ng m8th8rs w8nt th8 b8st f8r th88r s8ns.  
8 w8ll l8t y88 8ff w8th 8 w8rn8ng.  
Th8s t8me.  
L88v8.

You back out of the cavern on shaky legs, and bolt up to your room once you’re out of sight, leaving her to mutter about how she’s seen what crossdressers like you turn out to be and that you won't grow up a failure if _she_ has any say in the matter.

You hope she doesn’t see you curl up into a shaking ball on the floor, sobbing into your arm.

But she’s probably w8tch8ng you right now.

(You bring her an extra body and another perfect score next time. She coos at you and even calls you the right name. It feels good, even if her words are laced with poison and your hands still drip with blood.)


End file.
